Taking Inventory

Start by writing down your basic goals – provide for your spouse and children, benefit certain charitable causes, and so on. Then it's time to get specific. Make up a checklist of assets and debts—what you own, what is owed to you, and what you owe. Don’t forget to check into how assets (such as your house) are owned. If you have powers over trusts or other accounts being held for your benefit, include them too.

One of the hardest tasks for an executor is figuring out just what money the dead person had coming in, and what bills and other payments need to be made. Think about your personal finances for a moment. If someone else suddenly had to step in and take over, would they know (or be able to figure out) about those royalties you have coming in from sales on a book you wrote three years ago? Or the payments you promised your friend Mac (orally, not in writing) for that boat of his?

Now is the time to put yourself in an outsider's shoes and write down all such expenses and income that might not otherwise be apparent to an executor. In doing so, you'll probably put your life in better order. It's another example of how estate planning is more than planning for your death. It can make your life a lot simpler, too.

Below is a list of important estate planning documents that will provide a good idea of what you'll need to consider. You also may want to complete the more extensive "Estate Planning Checklist". It is detailed enough to be useful if you have a large, diversified estate, and is equally helpful if yours is a smaller, simpler estate. It also will enable you to do much of the preliminary work needed to prepare a solid estate plan.

Family Meeting

Of course, a couple should communicate with each other so they agree on what goes to the surviving spouse and what to the children.

Because estate planning affects several generations, it may be a good idea, especially for families with grown children, to make your estate plan a family affair. Some families set aside a day and gather all family members who are involved in the plan. The parents can explain how this plan can have a major influence on all their lives, and why they're distributing gifts and trusts the way they are. They can also find out whether the children want to continue the family business, and ask if any property has sentimental values for them.

If you have such a meeting, encourage your family to voice their concerns and feelings about all this--remember, many people don't like to talk about death--and answer any questions they may have. They may even raise issues that will lead you to call your lawyer or change your estate plan. It is easier to work through any potential conflicts while everyone is still alive that to let surprises revealed after death lead to a will contest.

Make Sure They’re on Board

And don't forget to tell the persons you’ve selected as executors or guardians of the children, to make sure they agree to serve.