Very Specific Custody and Visitation Orders

If parents are prone to conflict or if they like a high level of detail, it may be desirable to have a very specific custody and visitation order covering a multitude of issues, including:

• Specification of weekends of visitation (perhaps with reference to weekends that begin on the first, third, and fifth Fridays of the month)
• Lists of holidays, winter breaks, and spring breaks, perhaps using odd and even years to keep track of which parent has which holidays in a given year
• Allocation of special school holidays and institute days (that may not be the same as legal holidays)
• Specific pick-up and drop-off times
• Designation of which parent will hold the birthday parties to which the child invites friends--perhaps alternating years
• Periods of notice required for choosing summer vacation time with the children
• Notification of where the child will be when out of town
• Agreements for parents to try to accommodate each other if the parents must travel out of town on business or are otherwise not able to be with the children for a designated period
• Agreements to share or provide copies of school and medical records (federal law requires that both parents have access to school records unless a court orders otherwise)
• Agreements to notify the other parent of teacher conferences, athletic events, and other events involving the child
• Agreements for the parents to consult with each other about what extra-curricular activities the child will be involved in
• Agreements to make the child available for special events regardless of the custody or visitation schedule--for example, to make the child available for family weddings, reunions, and funerals
• Agreements to allow the child telephone contact or internet contact with the other parent (times and frequency could be specified)
• Agreements to encourage, or at least not interfere with, the child’s relationship with the other parent
• Agreements to notify the other parent of change in address, telephone number, or employment