Helping the Lawyer Help You

Well-prepared clients help their cases go more smoothly. You can save time and money by gathering facts and carefully considering what goals you want to achieve.

For example, if property or support is contested, you can help your lawyer by gathering together financial information. You can prepare inventories of the assets and liabilities of the marriage, itemizing the value or cost of each significant item, if known. Statements of the parties’ income and expenses also are usually necessary. You can find this kind of financial information in copies of tax returns, checking account records, investment account records, and charge account records. If you do not know certain information, you can make lists of what is known, what is not known, and where more information might be located.

If you or your ex has been divorced before, you should try to obtain copies of the earlier divorce papers, particularly the marital settlement agreement and final order of the court.   If custody is at issue, you could make lists of reasons why you should have custody. The reasons should be as specific as possible and include names addresses, and telephone numbers of persons who might be able to testify in support of these arguments. You should also list what your spouse’s arguments are likely to be, and what evidence your spouse will have in support of his or her position. Divorce is a time of stress, and it probably will not be easy to methodically and logically gather information. But the process can be therapeutic-think of it as taking steps to gain more control of your current environment and future.

Although divorce is a time of stress, it also is a time to plan for the future. You should develop goals for the short-term and long term, and try to figure out how the issues of property, support, and time with children will fit into those goals. By identifying which issues are most important and which issues are less crucial, you will help yourself and your attorney resolve the problem in an orderly way while developing a reasonable plan for the future.

Many attorneys will ask clients to fill out detailed questionnaires regarding finances and custody issues (if applicable). If your attorney asks you to fill out such a form, you should fill it out promptly and return it to your attorney. It will help the attorney organize the case and determine what information and arguments need to be developed.

In the heat of a contested divorce, it may be tempting to get on the telephone with your attorney daily to blow off steam and seek advice. In most cases, that will not be an effective use of the attorney’s time or your money. Usually it is best to save up a batch of inquires and then discuss them with the attorney. Of course, if something urgent arises, such as the other party changing the residence of the children or hiding major assets, then you should notify your attorney promptly.

It helps to understand that attorneys are not always able to take your calls immediately. Attorneys are often busy with trials or meetings with other clients. A well-organized attorney, however, will be able to return calls within twenty-four hours or will arrange for a staff member to call you back. Often, you can pass on an inquiry or piece of information to the attorney’s secretary or paralegal, who will discuss the matter with the attorney and then call you back.

It is important for you to be honest with your attorney. If there are skeletons in the closet (or a few loose bones) regarding finances, extramarital relationships, or other issues, it is best to be candid with your attorney about such matters so they can be dealt with if necessary. A client is usually worse off if adverse information comes up for the first time in the middle of a trial or the middle of negotiations, since the attorney may not be fully prepared to respond to the disclosures.

Family law attorneys hear many secrets about people’s private lives. The attorney is not likely to be shocked or upset by any disclosures you make. Under rules of confidentiality, an attorney must keep a client’s secrets. Even if a client reveals that he or she did something illegal in the past, the attorney must keep that a secret. An attorney, however, cannot help a client pursue present or future illegal conduct. If the attorney has given information to the court or opposing side that the attorney later learns to be false, the attorney usually is obliged to correct the information.

In a bitter divorce, it is common for clients to want their attorney to act as an avenging angel--to make life miserable for their spouse and the spouse’s attorney. That is not the proper function of an attorney. An attorney’s job is to give calm, reasonable advice and to pursue the case is a diligent manner. Diligence and competence do not require antagonism or treating opposing counsel or opposing parties with disrespect.

An attorney who yells and screams is usually out of control and not serving the client’s interest. The system of justice works better, and cases generally turn out better, when attorneys deal with each other (and with the court) in a civil manner.