A Promise of “I’ll Take Care of You”

Lawyers and judges sometimes refer to certain agreements as “pillow talk.” This term refers to the kinds of agreements made by couples during a moment of intimacy, when one member of the couple may feel insecure about the future. The other member of the couple offers reassurance along the lines of: “Don’t worry. I love you. I’ll take care of you. Everything will be okay...” Sometime later, everything is not okay. One member of the couple decides to end the relationship, and the more vulnerable member of the couple does not feel taken care of at all.

If person who feels that his or her continued care is severely lacking decides to file a lawsuit to collect on the promise, is she or he likely to succeed? No. To begin with, such agreements rarely are in writing, so they are hard to prove in court. In some states, such agreements must be in writing in order to be enforceable.

Second, a promise that “I’ll take care of you... Everything will be okay” probably is too vague to be enforceable. The court does not have a clear standard to determine the meaning of “I’ll take care” and “Everything will be okay.” In the absence of a clear agreement between the parties, courts are reluctant to create more definite terms of a contract. The quoted promise is not nearly as specific as an agreement to pay half the rent or to share equally the profits and expenses of running a ranch.

Third, even if the promise did not fail for lack of specificity, it could be viewed as contingent on circumstances that are no longer in effect. If the promise means anything, it probably means, “I’ll support you financially as long as we are living together.” So, if the couple breaks up, a court probably would not find an enforceable promise for continued support.

Fourth, there could be a problem with consideration. As discussed in the last section, contracts usually require each party to give something in order for there to be a valid agreement. Here, the promise might be viewed as one-way or gratuitous. One partner promised to take care of the other, but there was not a specific promise in return. So, the agreement could be unenforceable for that reason as well.

The partner who is seeking support might argue that he or she promised to maintain the home and provide emotional support in exchange for a promise of financial security.  A promise of taking care of a home and providing emotional support is not likely to be specific enough to be enforceable, and it may be viewed as contingent on continuation of the relationship.

In addition, if a court thinks an agreement amounts to providing financial support in exchange for sexual relations, the court will not enforce it. Such an agreement will be viewed as uncomfortably close to a contract for prostitution.

Courts are more inclined to enforce agreements for tangible items such as payments of expenses or rights to property. A promise of housekeeping services or emotional support for a partner may be sincere, but it is much more amorphous than a promise to pay half the phone bill or share the proceeds of a condominium sale.

For more discussion of agreements by couples, see chapter 2.