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FindLaw: Do's and Don'ts: Adoption-Speak - Attorney, Attorneys, Lawyer, Lawyers, Law, Laws, Litigation, Lawsuit Do's and Don'ts: Adoption-Speak

The words we used to describe adoption and the people whose lives it touches can affect the way others around us view adoption. In order to promote the most accurate and positive understanding and attitudes, the following guidelines should be implemented.


INSTEAD OF: SAY:
Real mother Birth mother
Real father Birth father
Natural mother Birth mother
Natural father Birth father
She is adopted. She was adopted.
Give up for adoption Make an adoption plan for
Put up for adoption Make an adoption plan for
Illegitimate child Child born to unmarried parents or Child born outside of marriage
My adopted child My child
Handicapped child Special needs child
Hard-to-place child Waiting child
Foreign adoption Intercountry or international adoption
Adoptive parents Parents
His mother didn't want him. His mother couldn't continue to parent him.
Couldn't have their own children Adopted their children
Their real (or natural) children Their birth children or biological children

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